When is anger a healthy emotion and when is it a cover-up to hide more vulnerable emotions we are unprepared to acknowledge or experience? Some professionals compare anger to an iceberg. The anger one sees and feels above the surface represents only a small portion of the underlying reasons behind it. These attempts to conceal more painful emotions probably began with trauma and hurt we once faced as children. Our immaturity didn’t allow us the emotional strategies to fully deal with these events. Over time, anger became a natural cover-up to both protect us and prevent others from knowing the more vulnerable areas of our lives.
This morning in reading the biblical account of Jonah, the Lord seemed to whisper incites I hadn’t previously noticed. Many of you are familiar with the heartbreaking account of Jonah, a prophet who clearly hears from God,
“Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”
Jonah 1:2
Sounds simple enough, right? “Go to the most wicked nation of your day and confront them with all their atrocities.” Wouldn’t we all secretly at times (or maybe not so secretly) like to tell people how awful they have been to us? Maybe then they would feel guilty. Maybe, they would finally admit to their wrongs. Perhaps they would even try to make things right.
And yet, Jonah runs the other way — runs from his responsibilities, runs from his God-mission, and even tries to run from God Himself.
Maybe there is something in Jonah that reveals a tiny piece of ourselves as well.
Vengeance
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19
Borrowing from Deuteronomy 32:35, Paul warns us against attitudes, words, or actions of self-defense, vindication, retribution, or bringing punishment on someone. Only God possesses the capacity to deal with injustice. Only He circles justice with His violent passion, for that is what God’s wrath truly means.
In Jonah’s story we might be tempted to look at his actions through any number of perspectives. Was there rebellion as he runs from God? Probably. Was there self-loathing, when he openly told the sailors about his refusal to obey and his request to “just throw me overboard?” Maybe. Even through all this, God continues to protect and deal with Jonah in the firmest yet most gracious way.
The sailors finally did throw Jonah overboard to spare the ship and themselves from sure disaster. Even then …
“Now the LORD provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three day and three nights.”
Jonah 1:17
The LORD provided! In our greatest moments of failure, the LORD provides what we need, when we need it, to turn us from paths of destruction back to Him.
Anger
It isn’t until the end of the story that all the pieces begin to align.
“But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
Jonah 4:1-3
With all options gone, Jonah turns around and fulfills his God-mission. God provided as much mercy for the people of Ninevah as He did for Jonah. But wait! We, like Jonah want judgement for our enemies even while we personally sit on our high places of God’s mercy liberally extended toward us.
When God was gracious, Jonah became angry. God’s mercy and love toward the undeserving only increased Jonah’s self-loathing and desire to end his life.
When anger cannot be expressed outwardly, it often turns inward, resulting in suicidal ideation — for Jonah and for us. Anger cannot be satisfied. It is but a symptom of hidden pain and unresolved issues of the heart.
In love, God confronts Jonah, not once, but twice.
“Is it right for you to be angry?”
Jonah 4:4, 9
A Cover-Up
Two different Hebrew words separate the righteous anger of God from the blazing anger of Jonah. God’s anger means more like ire — a passionate and clearly displayed anger. Whereas Jonah’s, and our, anger means “to glow, blaze up, to be overcome with jealousy or zeal.”
Jonah held so firmly to his iceberg of anger that he was unprepared to respond to God’s prompting for him to look deeper at the underlying issues beneath his anger. Jonah’s story ends sadly. The wicked find forgiveness; Jonah is left cleaving to his flimsy cover-up of anger.
Anger, in itself, is neither negative nor positive. We will all feel and express it.
“When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].”
Ephesians 4:26-27
When we are anger — not if, but when. When anger comes may we be brave enough to look beneath the surface of our anger for the underlying issues of old wounds and past hurts. Jonah’s life clearly shows us that whatever we are not willing to allow God to deal with in our lives, will eventually pull us away from Him and out of relationship with others.
Honestly, only through the help of gifted counsellors and pastors have I been able to overturn the iceberg of anger and allow the Holy Spirit to melt away the frozen issues underneath my internal and external anger. As we humble ourselves, God will uncover and free us from the deadly effects of anger.
Wisdom
I don’t always deal with anger wisely, but I’m working on it! God offers so much more than the following snippets of advice for dealing with anger:
- “Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]” (James 1:19-20).
- “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
- “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is hasty of spirit exposes and exalts his folly” (Proverbs 14:29).
- “For wrath kills a foolish man, and envy slays a simple one” (Job 5:2).
God reveals a common theme through these and other verses. Our anger may be pointed at others, but it destroys us from the inside out.
Oh, previous saints! Whatever it takes, whatever help we need, may God give us the grace to overcome our anger — for good, for always. May we gain a faith so deep and a trust so wide, that we know beyond knowing that God can and will deal with the wicked in His time and in His way. May we rest in Him, releasing Him to do as He so desires in us first and then in those around us.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, we seek Your divine mercy and grace as we willingly and humbly yield all our anger to You. We cannot hold it without destroying ourselves and those around us. We confess that we have cradled our anger for too long. Today, we renounce our trust in such a feeble cover-up. Though it may have served to protect us at one time, it now hold its deadly grip over our God-destiny and purpose. We give our anger, whether under cover or overt, to You, Lord.
Lead us, Lord, to pastors and counselors who will assist us. The hidden iceberg of past hurts and trauma is deeper than we are able to uncover on our own. Give them the wisdom and grace to help us find victory in this area.
Today, we choose to lay down the cover of anger. We take hold of Your hand to lead us in new ways of learning emotional and relational health, for You, Lord, “are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity” (Jonah 4:2).
Amen
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