Reconciliation of relationships presents a difficult, and often lengthy, process — especially for those left fragmented or broken. As with everything else, without maintenance even the best relationship will deteriorate.
At the end of each fiscal year, we spend many hours reconciling accounts to submit accurate information to tax departments. If we have regularly reconciled bank statements and other accounts the process flows smoothly. However, if our approach resembles my father’s, we might find ourselves in for much head scratching and more than a few late nights. A large wooden box held a year’s worth of his receipts and invoices. He had no file folders, organization, or spreadsheets to maintain his financial records.
However, the most difficult reconciliation to accomplish is between people. Too easily, offenses develop, misunderstanding magnify, and bitterness builds.
The most insurmountable difference arose between man and God when disobedience, rebellion, and pride arose. Since that historic division humanity of every generation has unsuccessfully attempted to bridge the gap between holy God and fallen man — a gap so large no effort of effort would suffice.
But God! But God in His great love sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to do what no other human could. He became the sinless sacrifice to pay for every wicked thought and deed that had been, or would be, committed. He paved the way for true and eternal reconciliation with God. The unresolved conflict, Jesus resolved. The unsettled debt man owed to God, Jesus paid. All that Adam and Eve lost in the Garden of Eden, Jesus restored in the Garden of Gethsemane through His blood.
“For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.”
Romans 5:10
Reconciliation of Relationships
Once reconciled to God, those who confess Jesus now carry the ministry of reconciliation.
“But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him].”
2 Corinthians 5:18 AMP
Relationship, like people, are complex. Now that we have received such a glorious renewal with our relationship to God, we all carry reconciliation anointing and power within us — becoming instruments of peace, restoring others to Him and individuals to each other.
Relationships, like people, are complex. Some relationships never mend. Other completely broken relationships, God supernaturally restores as both parties give Him their pain-filled “Yes” when He asks. In obedience to Him, we reject selfishness and pride. As we choose to walk in humility and unity, God’s reveals His enabling Presence.
“… God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God.”
2 Corinthians 5:19-20
Ambassadors
God designated us as Christ’s ambassador — His anointed, called, and prepared representatives to bring others to Him. Is there a joy any greater than introducing others to the Father, so that they too become part of the family of God as His sons and daughters?
Reconciliation with Him allows us to become reconciled with each other. His unmerited peace enables us to walk in unity with others — a unity that requires something on our part.
“Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].”
1 Peter 4:8
But let’s be honest. People despised even Jesus. Everyone abandoned even Him. Life is tough. Relationships are messy. Hurting people inflict their pain on others. They stuff their wounds in wooden boxes delaying reconciliation of accounts with God and those they hurt.
“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:18
We pray that God’s love and grace will flow through our lives stronger than anyone’s hate.
Steps Toward Reconciliation
Financial records can’t reconcile themselves and painful relationships won’t independently heal. God, however, can and will bring healing when we invite Him into our hidden brokenness. He restores relationships, making them healthy and whole, as we align ourselves with Him by:
- Taking responsibility for our part of the problem, remembering that “all have sinned and continually fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
- Forgiving! “Pay attention and always be on guard [looking out for one another]! If your brother sins and disregards God’s precepts, solemnly warn him; and if he repents and changes, forgive him” (Luke 17:3). Also, “bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive” (Colossians 3:13)
- Breaching the gap. “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over (Matthew 18:15-17).” If the first attempt fails, seek the help of others to foster reconciliation.
- If every effort fails, never compromise your position in Christ for the sake of fake peace. Maintain your integrity (Job 27:5-6).
- Positioning yourself in the place of peace and prayer. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7.
As we walk faithfully before God, we release the end results to Him. His peace sustains us even in the most unpeaceful circumstances.
Prayer
“Lord, may my love be stronger than anyone’s hate (Luke 6:27). May I re-present you well to everyone — to the abusive and hurting, to the manipulating and controlling, to the wounded and wounding. Give me wisdom to establish healthy boundaries around relationships (Proverbs 22: 24-25) while loving people to life — a life of freedom and deliverance from negative and destructive relational patterns (John 8:36).
God, thank You for bridging the gap. May I be an ambassador for Your Kingdom, partnering with You to bridge the gap for others (2 Corinthians 5:20). I need You, Lord to sovereignly and supernaturally bring reconciliation and peace into relationships that remain fractured and broken. Give grace piled up grace (John 1:16) to speak the words on Your heart, bringing transformation into every situation.
These things are too hard for me. I am like a child — foolish and self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:11). May my heart hurt for the brokenness of those around me. May I desire to see their restoration more than personal comfort. Lord, align me with Your will for every circumstance.
Awaken in me Your love for others (John 13:34). May I see You in the eyes of even my cruelest oppressors and coldest aggressors. Grant me Your peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) when storms blow fierce and darkness invades.
In my weakness, be my strength (Psalm 37:39). Come, Lord, with divine intervention, bringing reconciliation to relationships in every area of my life. I trust You in the uncertainty. Give me the faith to hold tight to what matters most (Hebrews 11:6). At the same time, Lord, grant me grace to release all things to You.
Be glorified, Lord. Be exalted in and through my life, bringing reconciliation, in the mighty Name of Jesus (Psalm 57:5).
Amen.
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