The most wonderful gift of friendship, the greatest treasure available, a gift none deserves, but all may receive, we find in Jesus Christ.
For much of my life I was locked insecurity and mistrust. I distinctly remember as a fourteen-year-old being invited on a short hike by girls similar to my age. We had recently met by the beach while I was vacationing with my grandparents. They welcomed me to tag along. I declined the invitation, chosing to be alone for the afternoon. Did I have other plans? Not at all! Was it because I didn’t want to be with them? That wasn’t my reason either. I simply didn’t know how to receive or reciprocate friendship.
That was only one illustration. My life was marked by many more such occasions. I preferred to remain at a “comfortable” distance, maintaining a perimeter for escape. People felt dangerous. Wild animals felt safe. Yikes!
Oh, how much I missed during those years. I am aware that it isn’t the number of friends one accumulates, rather, the depth within those friendships. Although I have grown in this area, introversion remains my pleasant norm.
Caution
God provides us with wisdom when it comes to friendships. His counsel forms guardrails along the highway of life.
- “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
- “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
- “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” (Proverbs 22:24-25)
Guardrails ensure the safe flow of traffic even when hazards present themselves. We have all experienced an unreliable friend of two, haven’t we? The ensnared part gives another image. We don’t always know the reliability of someone until the relationship develops.
John Maxwell, a leadership mentor, says, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future — who you surround yourself with is so important … take the five most influential people in your life and you will become just like them … average people want you to stay average … it takes a lot of courage to step out.” He is right on all accounts.
We spend an incredible amount of time working with people who do not share our values, principles, and mission. Subconsciously, we pick up practices, verbal nuances, and even borrowed appearances. To remain authentic to ourselves and faithful to God takes a lot of courage. Without living courageously we would slip through the guardrails of protection into dangerous territory.
I am no spring chicken, in my so-called golden years, and past my prime (or any other analogies you would like to use). Even those of us with more years behind us than ahead of us must be aware of with whom we choose to closely associate.
True Friends
Fortunately, the Bible also gives more wise advice about the benefits of solid, faithful friends.
- “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
- “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
- “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
- “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice” (Proverbs 27:9).
Mutually beneficial friendships help those within the circle grow to become the best version of themselves. These relationships are marked by honor, humility, honesty — seeking the good of the other and sacrificing to see another be promoted and succeed.
Oh, how rare this wonderful gift of friendship has become. When we discover it, may we treat it as the most precious treasure we could find. May we bring out the best in others. May we stand with others when they are going through difficult times, helping them back on their feet. When necessary, may we courageously offer sound counsel and advice, even if it feels risky.
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.“
Romans 12:10
Perhaps, we find one of the greatest biblical examples of friendship through the lives of David and Jonathan — two men who should have been adversaries but chose friendship instead. (Read more here.)
I am re-evaluating my closest friendships. Though we are friendly to all, we choose the closest friendships with wisdom.
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Romans 12:2
The Greatest Friend
It would be incredible presumptuous to call ourselves a friend of God. But Jesus holds nothing back. Let God transform you means that the Friend we commit to the most is our Lord and Savior. If hanging around with friends influences our life outcome, we certainly want the greatest influence to be given to Him.
“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.“
John 15:15
Is this not the most comforting statement, He could grant to any of us? He invites us into a true, eternal friendship. We are not merely His servants to do His bidding; although, we take great pleasure in serving Him. We are His confidants — the ones He shares His secrets with and wants to be with.
We need friends who will always point us to Jesus and His Word, who will lead us to the feet of Jesus, and even challenge us when they see us drift from our faith foundation. We need those who will remind us how wonderful, faithful, and good He is all the time and in every circumstance.
I hope your life is rich with people who share a mutual friendship with Jesus. May we together value His wonderful gift of friendship that He offers to us all.
Think about it! The God of the universe. The One who holds all things in place chose you and me. He said, “These are my friends. I gave everything for them.” He never fails or abandons us. He will never let down His end of the friendship. If ever we feel far from Him, may we remember that we have moved. Not him!.
Oh! As the hymn writer of old sang, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus!” No more hiding in insecurity but rather embracing this wonderful gift of friendship with Jesus and others.
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